The Skill Of Negotiating 14/09/2014
Most of us, we enter into negotiations unaware that we are even busy negotiating a deal of some sort.
I find this truer for us women, because women are often motivated by their strong side; which is “emotions”.
The difference is that when the other party do something from a standpoint of love or other emotions, they would do too much even without any reward or recognition.
But when the other is doing from the standpoint of fairness, they will do just enough or even less depending on what they believe they will receive from their effort.
Neither one is right or wrong, it’s about finding balance within ourselves.
A woman who can balance both her femininity and masculine energies is far more advantaged because women come across as less threatening than males, which makes the negotiating table less intimidating and all parties are better at ease to engage more openly.
Same goes to a male who possesses emotional intelligence.
This is what I often remind my family of; money was created for two main functions
✓ medium of exchange
✓ medium of fairness
Yes in this world it all goes back to money, because money is the unit used to establish and confirm exchange and fairness after a deal has been closed.
But the people are not always fair or just. Money does not understand fair nor exchange, people do.
Money moves like leaves blown by current and flows as liquid, like water where it recognises a pathway to flow freely like water in a river or canal.
Therefore when we negotiate we negotiate in order to come to a fair deal, opening new pathways for each other.
But most of the time somebody always get a raw deal because of four main reasons;
• They are unaware that they are cutting a deal
• The art of negotiation isn’t there
• The understanding of the word negotiation isn’t there.
• Negotiating out of fear
For many people, negotiation is a process of painful tactics of stalling and overcoming….. or better yet, its a give and take mostly involving the surrender of price and terms.
But I like how Grant CARDONE explains the word negotiation: “Negotiate” comes from the Latin negotiatus, which is the past participle of negotiari, and means to carry on business. This original meaning is critical to understand because the goal of negotiating is to continue doing business by conferring with another to arrive at an agreement.”
Therefore its critical to first make a conscious decision if you want to continue dealings with the party you are about to enter into negotiations with, and for how long?
This is before you can even calculate what is in it for you.
JFK KENNEDY left us with a brilliant advise, he once said: “You cannot negotiate with people who say whats mine is mine and what’s yours is negotiable”
1. Therefore it means the first golden rule of negotiation is know the other party fairly well. Do your best to know them well enough to anticipate what they will offer you.
2. Secondly separate well your most valuable reward and the common rewards; understand well what it is that you really want out of the deal and what is obvious to the other party. Always negotiate from the obvious and never revealing all your cards too soon, depending off course on the level of trust. The idea is never compromising yourself; excersize wisdom always.
Victor HUGO left us with a powerful statement as well, he said: “All the forces in the world are not so powerful as an idea whose time has come”
3. Therefore wait for perfect timing and when its time its time; and initiate the negotiations. Its a combination of instinct and preparation for seizing the opportunity. Things must align. if its not perfect timing you must not initiate the negotiations rather postpone. You do not want to negotiate out of fear, pressure or cornered into a raw deal.
This is the third golden rule, you must initiate the process because whoever controls the start of the negotiations tends to control where they end. If you let the other party start negotiations, you will be constantly giving up control, often without even realizing it.
4. Finally; the negotiation platform can be loaded with agendas, egos and emotions. Great negotiators know how to stay cool, providing leadership and solutions, while the rest of the room becomes insanely invested in personal agendas and useless emotions. Crying, getting angry, name calling and blowing off steam may make you feel good, but such behavior will not benefit you while negotiating. When the rest of the room gets emotional, stay cool and use logic to negotiate and close.